Let yourself die . . .
I've been thinking a lot about death, in the best possible way. I read something recently about tending to your wounds by curling up inside them and letting yourself die, even just a little bit. A practice of feeling your way through and spending time with the intensity of whatever emotions are present.
What a beautiful idea, to let a part or parts of yourself die in order to experience release and rebirth. There's a tenderness in this practice of curling up inside the wound rather than resisting. If you'd like to give this a try, consider letting yourself die for maybe a length of 5 minutes, and increasing that as your tolerance for surrender grows.
Let me know how it goes.
A little death . . .
In french there is a term, "La petit mort" which translates to "the little death", an expression that refers to the sensation of post orgasm as likened to death. Another meaning is "the brief loss or weakening of consciousness." Either way, by these definitions, a little death sounds like it could be very pleasurable. I encourage you to give it a try, and remember safety first. 😉
I've been pondering the connection between death and desire.
I've come to define desire as the primary motivation or will to live, rather than merely wanting or wishing for something. My desires have become something sacred that I tend to and nourish. I often ask myself, "What gives me life?" and "What makes me want to be alive?". These are the things that animate and propel me through life, and in their absence would make me feel ready to conclude my earth ride.
Are you willing?
I have noticed for myself personally and through conversations with others, that talking about and acknowledging our deepest desires can be really fucking terrifying. I think one reason is an inner knowing that something about ourselves or current situation may need to change significantly, come to end and/or be released. A part of us might need to die in order to move towards desire. That's a scary thought. There is risk involved.
I now believe that dealing with our fear of death must come before pursuit of our true desires. Our willingness to die as often as needed is part of the sacred practice of invoking and tending to desire.
So, my question to you is, are you willing to die a little, or a lot?
The jury is still out for me, but I'll get back to you.